If you’re stuck in a cycle of binge eating and guilt, you’re going to want to hear this. In part one of my story, I open up about my early struggles with poor body image and binge eating, exploring the different influences and experiences that shaped my relationship with food and self-image as a young teen, before finding a turning point in the last place on earth I ever thought I would.
In Part 1 of this story, you’ll hear:
You don’t just begin life struggling with poor body image or binge eating. In this episode, I share how body image issues took root early on—around 8 or 9 years old—and became a major factor in my ongoing battle with food. If you’ve ever felt trapped in an unhealthy relationship with food, I want you to know that you’re not alone. This is the first chapter of my journey, and it’s far from a pretty picture.
I take you through the awkwardness of noticing all the changes in my body as a young preteen. Without enough support or preparation, this time in my life was full of confusion. I felt an overwhelming pressure to look a certain way, and it wasn’t long before this pressure started influencing my body image. From family comments to societal expectations, I was constantly comparing myself to others. At that time, I thought being thin was everything, though ironically, I was already thin. This obsession would lead me down a very dark and lonely path.
By age 17, I had adopted a strict routine of exercise and dieting. I woke up early to prepare a healthy lunch for high school, joined a gym, and exercised primarily to burn calories. I thought this routine was ideal. But over time, the constant cycle of dieting and self-criticism spiraled out of control. My restrictive mindset soon turned into extreme behaviors with food. Unfortunately, binge eating quickly became an exhausting cycle of guilt, shame, and self-loathing. I felt trapped, not just by food, but by the emotional toll it was taking on me.
At one point, I stumbled across the term “Binge Eating Disorder.” This was almost by accident, but reading about it gave me some validation. However, it didn’t provide me with any tools to resolve the issue. Feeling unsafe to talk to my parents, who encouraged my obsession with being thin and staying healthy, I was left feeling isolated and alone in my struggle.
In this part of the story, I discuss the challenges of dealing with my insecurities and binge eating while living in a very triggering environment. Surrounded by over 100 other 18-year-old girls to compare myself to, and being faced with the tempting, indulgent touristy food in Jerusalem, it felt like putting an alcoholic in a bar. Eventually, I gained the weight I fought so hard to avoid in high school, reaching a new milestone in my body image. It wasn’t until I returned to Israel to join the army and live on a kibbutz that I began to see a path toward healing.
👉🏼 Be sure to stay tuned for NEXT week’s episode, where I share Part 2 of my story—how I found healing, my professional journey, and how it led me to become a nutritionist and health coach. Today, I help women struggling with their health, habits, and relationship to food and body, becoming the beacon of light I once so desperately needed.
